Give me a PUSH

A little more than 21 days ago, I joined a small group of women in an accountability challenge. We were all looking for one thing in common: a way to make the habit stick. I have to admit, I joined this group because I wanted to get back in shape. I lost 4 pounds in 21 days, but I gained so much more. As we were posting motivation and talking about what helps us stay focused, a book was mentioned. I was on vacation at the time, and I happened to finish the digital book I was reading. I am a self-development junkie, so I decided to download it. I have to admit that it was full of MAJOR Ah-ha moments. Not just the kind that make you stop and think, but statements that profoundly redirected my way of thinking.
I know. Corny. But, true. I see it all the time, people posting things like “the dirty house can wait, the time with your babies cannot” and other ones that proclaim “sleep is for the weak.” Which is it, then? Can supermom really exist without sacrificing her own health…and possibly the wellbeing of her children? Is it really beneficial to my children that I CAN do it all if I get tired and cranky in the process? How much of MY stress do they absorb in a day? (I can just look at my oldest daughter sometimes and see it on her face. I’ve always called her my little sponge.)
I’ve written blogs about simplifying my life. I’ve written blogs about organizing my life. I’ve written blogs about trying to keep up with all my passions and hobbies. And now, I’m going to admit that it’s impossible.
I will admit it. All the activities that I do, I do because I love them. I don’t just seek out hobbies so I have something to do. I have a lot of interests, and I like to try new things. I want to be able to do it all. But, at some point, I need to take a step back and determine what my real priorities are. And when I determine what my top priorities are, I need to learn to let go of those things that contradict my goals. I am not saying that this is going to be easy. I do not want to give up any of my activities and projects. But, while I’m working on shedding the pounds, I want to shed some excess weights from my life, too.
So, if you see me hanging onto a ball of thread or a new book on gardening like I’m going to lose it forever, it’s probably because I’m trying to figure out if I should let it go. I expect the stress of breaking up. It’s never easy to do with anyone OR anything. But, once something is shed, the weightlessness that comes with it is so freeing.
I’ll be posting as I go along this journey, but I would encourage anyone who needs some direction in life to check out the book* that I’ve been reading. It comes from a fitness expert, but is geared toward life changes, not just weight changes.
I’m on the first step of setting goals and priorities for my life. It’s not too hard to come up with what is most important, but it is hard to see that I haven’t really been focused on it at all.

*PUSH by Chalene Johnson

Positive power

Today was my flight home from visiting extended family in Iowa. Well, it was supposed to be my flight home. The weather all across the Midwest is horrible, and my flight into Chicago was delayed. Not delayed in the kind of way where they tell you before you get on the plane. No, the kind of delayed that would normally send me spiraling into anxious rants and raves.

I flew here with my 18 month old last week, meeting up with my older girls and parents who took the train from upstate NY. So, today, we all split up again to head back home. I had chosen an airport an hour and a half away to save a couple hundred on flight costs, so we loaded up in my aunt's car at 7:30am and drove into Illinois. Everything was on time, so my aunt got me as far as the security checkpoint and we said goodbye.

I timed everything perfectly. We boarded last so we had time to let my toddler burn off some energy. We slid into our seats, got out the blanket, snack, drink, Elmo doll, and book. We tucked everything else away. The kind but obviously not wanting to sit next to a mom and toddler business man moved seats so I could have the row to myself. The flight attendant secured the cabin and we prepared to push back from the gate. And nothing happened. Then, the announcement came. We were going nowhere. Flights were cancelled and connections would be missed. We had to pack up our stuff and de-plane.

Surprisingly, though, everyone on the flight seemed to take it well. There were smiles and many, many offers to help me get my little one back into the airport. She giggled and waved at everyone and amused them by going through her vocabulary of animal sounds. So, I thought, what a perfect opportunity for me to practice turning things around.

Normally, this is where I melt down. I get crabby. I blame everyone else for my difficulties and then wallow in self-pity. So, instead, I focused on the positive.

Long line at ticket counter? More time to find a place to sit with Sophie and linger over our coffee and milk.

An hour to kill while waiting for reservations to find another flight? Time to let her run wild in the semi-empty end of the terminal.

And when my option meant calling my family to come back to get me? No flights until tomorrow? One more day to spend with my toddler and one more chance to see family I see so infrequently.

My new flight is at another airport? It's closer! And the only seats left are premium? Ok by me!

Of course, I now have a toddler, and extra night stay with my luggage already on a plane. Problem? Not when there is a place nearby to buy a new outfit and a pack of diapers! An excuse to go shopping!

The best part, though, is that my family was excited to see me again. Everyone showed back up to have dinner together. Sophie got to play with her 2 year old cousin for one more night. I have one more day to spend focusing on my baby who is growing up too fast.

I am sad not to be with my husband tonight. I am frustrated that I'm missing another day of work. But, I turned the situation around and made today another day to smile. Another day to laugh. Another day to focus on being a happier me!

Dream

Yesterday was a beautiful day, so my girls and their second cousins headed outside for some much needed fresh air. They played for a while with hula hoops and balls but eventually decided to climb a tree on the edge of the property. My eight year old and her cousin hopped up into the fork of the tree, but my 6 year old wanted more of a challenge.

Alayna is my hippie child. She loves to dress up in frills and jewels, but she's happiest during the summer when she can run barefoot through the grass. Most nice days you will find her swinging or meandering down the street in search of rocks, sticks, or other treasures. She loves to pick "wildflowers," so watch your landscaping if you live in our neighborhood!

She spent a few minutes climbing up what we always called "a good climbing tree" but even the challenge of the taller branches wasn't what she was after. She propped herself in that elevated perch and surveyed her options. It didn't take long. She spotted a tree trunk left at the back edge of the yard by a casualty of a storm that had felled the tree that once stood there. A quick jump out of the tree later, and she was off and running across the yard to greet her new challenge.

The stump was tall and had few footholds. She walked around it and searched for options. She was determined. At the base of the other trees in the yard, she found some thick branches. One by one, she dragged them to the trunk. After each one, she balanced atop them to see if it raised her up enough to grab hold of the top of the trunk.

My sister and I were standing guard in case of injury or torn dress. We asked her if she wanted to abandon her climb, but she said simply:
"I'm not going to give up. Miss Suppa (her teacher) said if I really want to learn something, I have to keep trying...I can't give up!" Nicely, we explained that she could modify her goal and use the (much lower) trunk just a few feet away...or let us lift her. She just replied "that's not what I want to learn! I want to climb this one!"

And she did. A few minutes later, she sat atop the trunk grinning, raising her hands up in a cheer, and letting out a loud whoop! I snapped her picture to include in her vacation journal and as I did, I noticed the word on her dress.

DREAM

As adults, do we forget our dreams, or do we still chase them? How much effort do we put into them? And do we let others discourage us from what we really want?

If we really want something, we should chase that dream. We should make those goals. We should develop a plan that sacrifices nothing from our priorities. Our plan may change from time to time, but that should be our own doing. Time changes what we want in life, but life or time should not impede what we want. If you need help organizing your goals to get there, look for help.

NEVER GIVE UP

Live the life you were meant to live. Love your life and do what makes you happy. And always be you.

Find your tree and climb it.

Packing forty-six pounds

Forty-six pounds. That's how much my suitcase weighed before my trip this week. I was testing it out on my own home scale by lifting it into the scale with me and subtracting my weight. When I lifted it, I was shocked by how heavy it was. I was even more shocked that it weighed almost exactly how much I would like to lose of my own body fat. (My ultimate goal is 48 pounds.) No wonder I've been exhausted the past couple if years...I've been lugging around a 46 pound suitcase!

I've been working on attaining a healthy body weight for a while now and it's been very slow. It's been going down, though, so I've kept up with each little habit and tried to add new ones as I'm able. Truthfully, the eating part hasn't been too hard. I already eat pretty healthy, so I just had to tweak a few small things to see a significant change in how I felt. And that's the important part to me. I don't care what I look like to anyone else as long as I'm healthy and strong, but I am feeling less than strong right now. I'm feeling tired, overworked, and sluggish. Some days I can barely get out of bed. It takes every ounce of effort to keep a positive attitude at work so by the time I get home I'm cranky and miserable. That's not fair to my family or to my inner sense of peace.
I'm used to juggling, and while I know I'm really busy for a mom of 3, I know that if I were healthier I would not only look better on the outside but I would feel better on the inside.

I started my exercise program back up, knowing that I always feel better when I hit the gym regularly. I was able to squeeze in lunch break weights, after work cardio, and sometimes a short yoga video later at night. But, nothing was consistent, so neither were my results. I just needed a better routine. I needed to form a habit.

Just about that time, my soon-to-be new friend posted an opportunity for a challenge on her Facebook page: go mommy go. Commit to a few simple rules, post about my daily exercise and eating choices, give up one thing that wasn't good for me, and gain accountability in the process. It seemed like just what I needed to make my good intentions stick. I already knew from following her that she was motivating and a good role model, so I jumped at the chance.

I gave up fast food sweetened coffee and committed to just 20 minutes of daily activity. For someone who used to clock 60-120 minutes every day, this should be easy. Throw in 3 kids, a stressful full time job, and the time gets away and excuses take over. I knew what to do, but I didn't hold myself accountable to do it. This small group was going to jump in together and help each other push past the excuses and reach out with daily reminders of how important this was. Has it worked?

Two weeks in, my physical body is a few pounds lighter. I don't crave sugary dessert as much as a handful of almonds or a protein shake. I can do more push-ups and I can climb to the 4th floor without getting as winded.

But, the true change isn't something I can see on the outside. In my heart, I feel blessed to have met some of these supportive women. They are willing to share their successes, but also their honesty with their failures. We all learn from each other and I am better for it. My mind is also changing. The knowledge I have is great, but the mental shift in my attitude is better. Nothing can stop me from getting in my 20-30 minutes of daily activity. I want to share my success and bring others along for the ride. I want to get rid of this 46 pound suitcase and replace it with a small satchel of motivation and sunny disposition.

Now, if anyone could tell me how to take a photo of my soul, I'd be ready to post my "after" picture.